|Juliana Maximillian Lyimo 1946-2012|
Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee ~ Montaigne
Again, it's been a while since my last post. A long while...Not sure where the time goes, and then before too long, it's a real strain to convey an experience, observation, goal or idea. And that may not be such a bad thing. Eight months in Tanzania, and everything is still so inspiring and open to exploration, it still very much feels like each day is brand new. And decidedly, I'm making a fresh start in October.
I can't pinpoint exactly what has triggered the shift in my thinking. In part, it was the sudden loss of my landlady and Tanzanian Bibi, Mama Lyimo, a week ago. She was such a sweet woman, someone I was looking forward to introducing more of my friends to. It has been an incredibly cathartic week, the compound flooded with people until all hours coming for the layout and visitation in the main house, tents and chairs set up to accommodate the hundreds of family and friends filtering through, prayers, singing, wailing filling the air each night and the house dadas (domestic help) setting up camp outside my bedroom window, cooking over the fire and essentially feeding what seems like the entire town. The funeral was Thursday. It was long and all in Kiswahili, but the language barrier didn't dilute the impact it had for me. In a way, I was quite grateful to have been a part of it all. Death and watching the grieving process of the family helped to rearrange my priorities. Out of death comes life...
I'm missing milestones for friends and family back home, and being there for the people I love. In return though, I'm living this amazing existence and following my intention for the future. There is so much yet to happen in my life, there are so many things I will accomplish. I started this blog as a way to gain some perspective and more clearly carve out my path in life, and I thought the natural evolution of it at this point would lead to sharing my experiences with everyone back home, but there isn't so much of that drive, or the time, to put everything out there now. It also suddenly feels self-indulgent. To boot, Skype has changed my communications game, becoming my saving grace to stay connected, and really reinforcing some of my key relationships. I'm living in the moment and enjoying every step along the way, but at the same time, cultivating my experiences here and expounding on what may be next - in a much more private way.
It feels as though I'm teetering between two spheres, an obligation of sorts to the people I love and a life that is entirely my own. So, as I strike a balance and even out the hemispheres of my world, it seems like a good time to lay low and redirect my energies. Writing, at least the expectation to write, will take the back burner, even if the act itself will be in full swing. I love writing, and this definitely won't be the last post. Even though life is short, I think I can afford to slow down and be much more deliberate for the time being. xoxo
Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson